The Art of Forgiveness
As winds blow from one direction to
the other and the sun rises and set
each day, every marriage will
encounter situations which requires
forgiveness. Who’s at fault never
really matters for one day the wife
may find herself vulnerable and the
next day, the husband. We are all
human and we all will find ourselves
in very compromising positions. No
matter how loving and trusting our
mates are, they will hurt us. This
hurt should never be intentional, at
least not in a healthy Christian
marriage, but it will happen. I have
hurt my husband and he has hurt me,
but the pain inflicted as the result
was never intentional. What made our
marriage strong is how we handled the
hurt, the disappointment and how soon
we forgave each other.
Waiting too long to forgive or ask for
forgiveness is a strong indicator that
pride is operating in the areas where
humility should. If we don’t forgive
our spouses, how shall we expect the
Heavenly Father to forgive us? What
happens when we don’t forgive? We
open doors to the enemy into our
marriage and in walks spirits of
bitterness, anger, resentment, etc. We
can’t afford to allow something so
precious and sacred to be tarnished
and consumed. The enemy hates
marriage, especially Godly marriages.
Godly marriages build strong families,
communities, and churches. It is no
wonder Satan desires to destroy every
marriage.
So what happens when we forgive? The
issue should no longer exist. That
means when the urge comes to bring
that same situation up again, it
should not be able to come back up. If
you find yourself bringing up a past
conflict into a present situation, you
have not forgiven. When Christ took
our sins to cross of Calvary, the
Heavenly Father forgave us of those
sins and He has never brought them
back to our remembrance. They were
forgiven and utterly forgotten. Read
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A Gentle and Tender Husband
Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your
wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it;”.
Husbands are commanded to love their
wives as Christ loved the Church. So
husbands, Christ is the perfect example
to follow in terms of marital
relations. Christ gave His life for His
Bride, He made ultimate sacrifices that
she may reach her fullest destiny, her
glory. Wives were not given this
commandment. Ephesians 5:24,
“Therefore as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in every thing.”
They were told to reverence and honor
their husbands, to hold him in the
highest esteem and to submit to him. I
know women have made inroads in a lot
of areas, but we will never outgrow the
Holy Scriptures.
God commanded the husbands to love
their wives because He designed women
to respond to her husband’s love. God
created woman as the weaker vessel. 1
Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands,
dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto
the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life; that
your prayers be not hindered.” She
needs to feel loved and cherished. When
a husband shows his wife how much he
loves her, she willingly submits to
him. There is something about a father-
daughter relationship I have observed.
Although a mother may spend the most
time with their female child, the
father interacts with his daughter in a
way that makes her feel honored and
special. He makes her feel like she is
the most beautiful little girl on the
planet. He is her knight in shining
armor. He is big and strong and can
provide her needs. Although he may be
away most of the day, she squeals with
delight and excitement when she hears
his voice at the end of the day.
Daughters love their mothers, but they
love their fathers. They are daddy’s
little girls, not matter what the age,
their fathers can always make them feel
like a special princess. When this
woman marries, she is looking for
someone who can love, cherish, and
protect her like her father could. God
commanded this type of love, a fatherly
covering type of love, between a man
and his wife. He is to make her feel
special after being at home rearing the
children. He is to appreciate the
sacrifices she makes to work outside
the home and still cook, clean, and
care for their children. Read More
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Communicating with Your Spouse
Building communication with your
spouse is a marriage survival
essential. We must learn to
communicate our feelings negatively or
positively without harassing or
intimidating our spouse.
Miscommunication is one of the major
causes of arguments in a marriage. It
is very important to be able to convey
your message to your spouse in a way
he or she understands and comprehends.
Your communication will vary based on
the intimacy of your marriage, length
of marriage, and responsibility of
marriage (children, in-laws,
stepchildren). For example, if you and
your spouse don’t share intimacy
(closeness and oneness) in marriage,
communication becomes strained because
two ideals are being expressed where
there should be one. Spouses may
wonder if the other has their best
interest at heart and simple
discussions may end up becoming
offensive to the other.
Communication before Marriage
Have you ever observed the way you and
your mate communicated prior to
marriage? Did you feel comfortable
discussing intimate details of very
personal information about yourself?
If so, this should have presented a
very strong indication that this would
be an area where much work would be
required. If you do not feel
comfortable expressing your deepest
darkest inner fears or inhibitions,
open discussions of this nature does
not get easier after marriage. Many
couples have found that the same
problems they faced while dating,
follow them into marriage. If open
communication is difficult for either
of you, ask yourself why. Perhaps
there are things you may not want your
spouse to know, this a matter of trust
and security which is very important
for a healthy marriage. Work on these
issues right now, it is never too late
to make improvements to your
communication.
Are you able to express feelings of
discouragement with your mate without
feeling embarrassed? We should be able
to freely discuss any feelings we are
experiencing with our mate and feel
completely comfortable in doing so. If
your mate makes you feel worse after
discussing a problem you are facing.
Work on this issue right now. You
should never be made to feel as if
your problems are menial, they are
very important to you and your mate
should be willing to understand and
share in your dilemma. Read More
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Husbands: Give Her Tender Loving Care
Husbands love your wives. This is a
simple command, but it is not easy.
For some men, showing his wife he
loves her is inferred by his going to
work everyday to keep a roof over her
head. The fact of the matter is,
whether you are married or not, you
must still keep a roof over your head,
so no points for going to work. Other
husbands may feel like telling your
wife you love her every day is
sufficient. Actions speak louder than
words, a common cliché, but so true.
So husbands, we are going to help you
give your wife tender loving care.
Since practice makes perfect, take one
week out of any month, or every month
and think of something you can give to
your wife everyday. It does not have
to be expensive or outrageous. Just a
simple original thought will suffice.
Examples may be, flowers, her favorite
candy, perfume, a love note by postal
mail, specialty ink pen, stationary,
article of jewelry, favorite magazine,
book by favorite author, CD, DVD,
breakfast in bed (weekends), foot
massage, bottle of bubble bath,
candles, scarf, nail polish, can of
her favorite soup, coffee mug,
figurine, hair accessory, etc. Buy her
nice gowns to sleep in. If you have
favorite lingerie you would like to
see her wear for you, run her a warm
bubble bath and place the nightie
beside the tub. Have the candles lit
when she emerges from the bathroom.
The items I listed are very common to
women, they don’t cost much, she
would be very grateful for the
thought, and you will reap the
benefits, trust me.
Take time to observe your wife, and
notice when she is going through a
time of stress. Then, no matter how
busy you are, or how you feel, reach
out and give her a little hug, or a
squeeze of the hand, with some
encouraging words. There are two magic
little words which can make a huge
difference to your wife when she is
going through a hard time. Instead of
trying to be a hero and solve all of
her problems, all you need to say is
honey, I am here for you and I
understand. Women must feel like they
are understood. If your wife feels
like you understand her, you will have
a friend in her for life. Read More
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Is God first in your Marriage?
God is a jealous God and will have no
other gods before Him. The same applies
in our marriages, God wants to be
first. Matthew 6:33, “seek his kingdom
all will be added.” If you honor God
in your marriage, God will honor your
marriage. We have all stood at the
altar repeating vows to each other in
front of our family and friends, but we
forget the most important witness. We
forget that God is watching, He and His
heavenly host, are all in attendance at
our weddings. When we make these vows
to our mates and to God, we are
expected to honor them. We are expected
to hold those sayings to be true. We
are supposed to treat our spouses the
way we desire to be treated.
When two godly people unite in holy
matrimony, something magical should
take place. This is no ordinary union.
Each of you have 1/3 of the Holy
Trinity abiding sweetly inside, that’s
a lot of power!! There should be double
the love, double the compassion, double
the courtesy and respect, and double
the joy. The fruits of the Holy Spirit
should be manifesting in double force.
Galatians 5:22, love, joy, peace, etc.
If Jesus is the center of your
marriage, His love will be manifested
through each of you to each of you.
Your decisions should be godly, your
children should be godly, your home
life should be godly because the Lord
is first in the marriage.
Perhaps your marriage strayed away from
the course God designed for it. Maybe
your marriage was never dedicated to
the Lord in the first place. Now is a
great opportunity to dedicate your
marriage to the Lord. Maybe your spouse
is unwilling. You take the initiative
and dedicate your marriage to the Lord.
Put God first and trust Him to deal
with your spouse. Be patient with him
or her while God works and keep
praying. The Lord will honor your
submission and bless your efforts.
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Prayer to Restore Marriage
Blessings and Greetings to all in
Jesus name. I have received hundreds
of emails from spouses who are
battling to keep their marriage from
failing. Many are asking for prayer, a
prophetic word, and even counseling
and although my heart aches on their
behalf, time simply won't permit me to
answer each of you all individually, I
sought the Lord to seek out material
to help you rediscover your marriage
and to help better equip you as a
believer to stand in the face of
adversity and confront every evil
force. My prayer is that your marriage
will be restored as the Lord permits
and that you be strengthened to
perform every good work. Be encouraged
and allow these prayers to fill your
spirit. - Prophetess Lindsey
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for
leading _____ and I to acknowledge our
offense and feel our guilt. I thank
You that we can seek Your face in our
affliction and distress; and that we
seek and require You earnestly. (Hosea
5:15) Thank You that the purpose for
which You [allowed us to be torn]
apart was to [show us our need for
You] and return to You so You would
heal us and bind up our wounds. I
thank You that You are [even] now
reviving and restoring us so we may
live in your presence forever. Read
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The Ministry of Marriage by Chuck
Swindoll
I have shared this because personally
Apostle Lindsey and myself have been
richly rewarded in our marriage by
simp;y being a blessing to others. We
are firm beleivers in sowing. We sow
money but we also sow our time and the
Lord has seen fit through the years to
afford us an abundant harvest through
seeding our time and energy to help
others.
"We rent wedding rings." Four words in
the window of a Hollywood jewelry
store said it all. A wedding in
Hollywood makes all the grocery store
magazines. When was the last time you
saw a fiftieth anniversary on the same
covers?
Marriage has turned into a one-day
event rather than a lifelong
commitment. If there is anything on
the critic's list today, it's
marriage. You talk about bad press.
You talk about a conversational
football to kick across the television
talk show platforms. You talk about a
joke in the office. Marriage today is
under fire.
You doubt that? Listen the next time
someone in your office announces his
or her future plans for matrimony.
Just listen. Don't say anything.
Listen for words of affirmation and
then compare those with the snide
remarks and the sarcastic jabs. I
mean, you would think that the person
had just announced plans to buy a
20-foot pet python when they tell you
their plans are to get married this
summer.
Today solid and happy homes run the
risk of becoming an endangered
species. Just stop and think. You stop
and think of couples you know who were
happily married five years ago-as far
as you could tell, solid as a rock-who
today are no longer married or now
live separate lives while not
divorced. And if you want to add a bit
of insult to injury, limit your list
to Christian couples. Read More
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Prayer Points for Marriage
Oh Lord, let my divine and human
marriage be the way you prepared it to
be in Jesus name.
Every spirit of marriage destruction
operating in my life I destroy you now
by the power of the Holy Ghost.
Let my marriage be blissful fulfilling
and let operate ina understanding of
divine destiny in Jesus name.
Deliver me from taking offense and give
me the grace to forgive and forget in
my human marriage in Jesus name.
Oh God, you hear before we pray and you
answer before we a call hear the
prayers we have not said and answer
before we call by placing our marriage
in its prepared place in Jesus name.
Every curse of delayed marriage,
depressing marriage, and diverting
marriage be broke in Jesus name.
Let my marriage meet God’s expectation
in Jesus name. Read More
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